Sad Feelings on the 4th of July...

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The title may have turned you off to this post, but it is the truth for me. This year I couldn't help but have a sad feeling down deep inside of me. While I have immense pride that I was blessed to have been brought into this world in one of the (if not the) most free countries there is there is also a growing sense of sadness sweeping through that pride.

Allow me to first disclose a few things:

I am so happy that I still live in a country which claims to allow freedom of speech, freedom to bear arms, freedom of religion and the pursuit of happiness. I cannot express to you the sense of pride when I think of all the women and men that fought to give me those rights, especially those who found themselves involved in true defense of the safety of the US (Revolutionary War, Civil War, WWI, WWII and to an extent the Afghanistan war on terror). These men and women deserve much more respect and honor than shall ever be given to them.

I am also happy that every Sunday morning I can get up and drive to my church which doesn't have to hide in a basement or sewer like some churches do across the world. I feel blessed to know that if God blesses me with children they too will experience this freedom. God and my relationship with Him is the #1 thing in my life above my wife, my family and myself; which is why I cannot express the value of this ability to freely follow and worship my Lord in my country.

I am also proud of the fact that although it seemingly is getting harder one can still pursue the idea of hard work will provide a better life. As I start a new job in the private sector with a partner I cannot help but feel excited at the possibility to build something amazingly successful if God would so choose to bless it...in some countries this dream wouldn't even be possible or even illegal to attempt.

I could go on and on about what makes me proud to live here in America, the United States, One Nation Under God...or is it? Perhaps the biggest sadness sweeping through to my core is the lack of God and family in America.


Galatians 6:7 describes how I feel when I think of the state of America:

^"7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap."

What are we as a nation sowing?

This nation was founded for many reasons, but it was a point by our founding fathers to make it very clear this would be One Nation Under God and that "In God We Trust" to be our way of life. Sadly though as we "progress" towards as some describe "modern" thinking we are leaving all which is of God and seeking to be that of which man is. 

The odd thing though is that over the history of this Earth man has proven just one mere thing 100% consistently: WE ARE GOOD AT FAILING. Look over history when you get a chance, some of the greatest highs of mankind were always followed by extreme lows and wickedness. Even in thriving "fiscal" cities we had slavery, debauchery and adultery rampant in both temples and courts. We have proven we fail friendships, relationships and where there are commitments and vows we find loopholes and annulments.  Even our own American history is riddled with failure; slavery, civil war and corruption.

However, for many years God was always on the American mind, money and way of life. He dictated to some extent how this country operated...but slowly God became less of a cornerstone and more of a gorgeous stain glass window in our lives. Something which was to be viewed for it's beauty and to reflect upon something which WAS gorgeous and HAD it's place at one time.

We are now choosing to attempt to put a human definition on marriage which just cannot be done. Marriage isn't a man given thing, God provided it and defined it. If marriage was a gift or idea granted by man, let man define it...however if we as a nation still claim any allegiance to God how can we let man define which He created?

Perhaps though that's the real issue, it's that God is falling faster out of America than  husbands and wives are falling out of marriage (which is ridiculously fast!) here in America. Is it sheer coincidence that the unraveling of God in America and the idea of what a family and marriage is coincides with some of the darkest things we find here? Have you seen the statistics for murderers and especially mass murderers that come from broken homes that have been split by divorce...the idea of marriage even beyond redefining as man and woman is also being shredded from it's intended purpose. 

Marriage isn't suppose to be two people positioning themselves better socially, fiscally or emotionally. It isn't designed to  show our status through the beauty of the other. It also isn't to be something we fall into because we have an "oops baby".

Marriage was designed for us to have on Earth what we have in heaven. A relationship of love and support which should be the best example we humans can produce of how God's love is for us. It's not about two people trying to make it through this life, IT'S ABOUT TWO PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE IT TO ETERNAL LIFE.

Maybe that is all we need here in America. Maybe instead of focusing on whether I can carry a 9mm on my hip or share my thoughts freely or even be able to afford health insurance....maybe we should focus on simply bringing God back into the forefront. Maybe we should lift Him up and out of that stained glass window, put there for our viewing and re-establish Him as a cornerstone in our Nation...one which without would surely crumble.

That's what I desire more than anything. Not for me, not for my family, not for my community but for my United States of America which I pray will turn back to being One Nation Under God.

It's Official

I'm applying for Survivor. It's been a dream ever since I watch the very first episode all the way back in 2000 when the ever naked Richard Hatch won it. It's something I've always said I'd do, but have never actually taken the plunge and done the paperwork and the video part of the submission. Partly due to excuses like "I don't have time to just take a month away" or "Lisa would kill me if I was gone that long!" but mostly this is why, "THEY'LL NEVER CHOOSE ME".

It's true, there is no real reason why they should choose me over countless others...but as I always say, the worst thing that could happen is nothing.

So with that in mind, I'm doing it. I'm filing for a passport (something you must have at minimum started). I'm making my 3 minute video. Last but not least I'm doing the paperwork and sending it in. No more will I sit and think about how great it'd be on Survivor...now I'll at least know I have a "chance" albeit it very miniscule.

So...let the process begin!

It wasn't for me...

...it was all about my kids, my wife and my family. That, and nothing else is what has driven me to get healthier. *Before anyone says it yes I don't have any kids yet...but I will someday (NO LISA ISN'T PREGNANT!)

Yeah, initially I struggled with the weight loss due to my own selfish motivations of "looking" better physically, but honestly the most change has occurred when I used my "kids", my wife and my family as my motivation to be healthier. Healthier isn't necessarily skinnier, but in my case I had let myself go so much to get healthier I was naturally gonna shed weight...and boy did I ever!

January 2012- 255 POUNDS...and miserable. I wasn't happy, sure I acted like the go lucky fun joker I always was but was anything but happy with what I was.

Late 2011 just before the 255 pounds

January 2013- 217 POUNDS...I had done well the summer of 2012, but un-able to keep the course on minimizing my food intake just kept the weight coming back on.

Christmas 2012, just prior to the official 217 pound weigh in.

April 5th 2013- 184 POUNDS...This was when I truly switched my mindset from losing weight for personal reasons and just desiring to be healthier and feel better! I went from just portion control, calorie analyzing and tedious exercise to simply being healthier.

Taken just last weekend...picture with our God-son Bennie!!!

Gone are the days of processed foods. Only organic, natural in nature occurring foods...and as raw as ultimately possible. Just a mere week eating like this (no more dairy, red meat limited big time) and I felt lighter and more empty on my insides than I EVER HAVE!

It did help that this time period corresponded with lent as I did a progressive lent which saw me give up coffee, pop, red meat and bread...helped to stay the course due to the religious side of things.

I now don't drink any dairy products, only almond, soy or coconut milk for me. AND I USED TO BE A MILK ADDICT....EASILY COULD DRINK A GALLON A DAY IF IT WAS THERE. No cheeses or VERY little if at a restaurant or friend's house. Bread is really non-existent in my diet, but I would do healthy breads well before a huge steak or dairy due to how our body processes/digests them. Bread truly isn't missed due to it's a filler that took up too much space and while I don't watch calories I don't feel bad eating 3 or 4 heaping tacos (veggie or some chicken mixed in sometimes) using romain/kale or other greens as the tortilla as I would if still using 120+ calorie tortilla shells!

I DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO CARBS/SUGARS and am just conscious of not over doing the fats in seeds/nuts. If it's natural I eat it.

MOST IMPORTANTLY IF HUNGRY I EAT...ANYTIME...ANYWHERE...AS LONG AS IT'S A FRUIT OR A VEGETABLE. 

As a fan of eating this is the best part of being healthier!

**Also no worries hunting buddies...I love meat too much to give it up, I will just be a lot smarter with it and probably not keep all the deer I harvest. Gifting some of the meat to relatives and friends who can use the meat. Hunting is way to spiritual for me to give up and will eat the meat before letting it go to waste for sure!

So if you're tempted to try and lose weight or get skinny again...first get to the point you're doing it to be healthier...the other things will follow suit!

I know because I decided to be healthier I have no doubt that unless something unforeseen occurs I will make many many more memories with my kids, my wife and family I may have missed out on by staying or getting more unhealthy!  <--and that my friends is true motivation!

Blessings...

Yesterday was Easter...today is...

...what you choose to make it. I don't say that as a way to show that we as humans have the ability or the power to choose how things in our lives operate, but that it is our conscious decision as to where we place our faith and hope in.

It's true so many place their hope in themselves and their abilities...and while self-confidence is good one must never forget there is only one thing that mankind has proven we cannot do: We cannot be perfect, and have proven to be 100% capable of failure.

We strive to be a better man or woman, we desire it at times more than anything...but fail.

We hope to break the addictions that plague us only to give in one evening out with friends at the bar or alone in front of the computer screen.

We fail.

We make a plan for success in our jobs, work harder and stay later only to realize while we may have stepped up the corporate ladder our home and family was burnt to the ground.

We fail.

As a father you've sworn to always protect our sons and daughters from hurt, but we cannot protect them from everything...we cannot protect them from that first broken heart, or first lost pet...

We fail.

As a spouse we promise to always love, honor, serve and care for the other...ALWAYS...

We fail.

I don't say all this to make it sound like it's hopeless or that we should simply give up...as a matter of fact quite the opposite. This should make us realize we need God more than we perhaps ever realized. God designed us to be perfect, but it was pride and selfishness that made us fall from that perfect mold. After that fall we've seemed to continue to struggle with the idea "I can" and "I must" and "This time around I..." instead of requesting God help us and view our walk more as a "We can" and a "We must".

God not only provides that second part to the we statements, but he also provides other broken and failing people to help, encourage and love you through things. Only by His grace and love can we at times accomplish the ability to succeed in conquering our addictions, loving our spouse unconditionally and becoming a better father or mother. ONLY by Him.

He never failed, is failing or will fail.

He doesn't stop there though, not only does He assist us in our day to day walks; He also has cleared a path for us once this life is over. For you see, the day before yesterday we deserved to die...but because of yesterday we have been granted eternal life. Thanks to Him giving and sacrificing is only Son we cannot be held by death any longer.

So Yesterday was Easter...today is...either going to be an "I" day or a "We" day; that choice is entirely up to you.

HERE for source of picture

= ...yeah I'm gonna attempt this

You've probably already seen the flag or symbol popping up all over facebook as your friends or "aquantances" seemingly systematically are changing their profile photos over to this banner of pride, support and in some cases both for gay marriage equality. It is something so many people are very passionate about and to be honest that is 100% understandable...but is also something that makes me both sad and uncomfortable (but not in the way you may think).

As I progress through this, know first and foremost that I'm attempting to state things that are on my mind and heart and not in an attempt to infuriate anyone...but knowing that I will do so know you have my sincere apologies for that, while disagreements upon this can be substantial I feel open and honest thoughts should at the least be respected.

It is with the thought of honesty that has prompted me to express this so let's delve into it. Gay marriage equality, for some it's being coined as the next great liberation needed in order to progress into the "proper"state our nation needs to be in. Liberated from what though? From the ability to be considered a holy matrimony? To be able to use the word marriage?

Now understand I hold to the belief that homosexuality is a sin, nothing more and nothing less when you boil it all down. God states, discusses and shares examples of how he intended marriage to be between a man and a woman in his Holy book. Now I could set here and state the verses, interpretations that have been said about them and try to justify my viewpoint (though no justification is needed)...but if your reading this I bet you already have your idea of whether or not homosexuality is a sin and whether or not you view the Bible as the true word of God. If you do not see it as a sin and don't view the Bible as the 100% word of God then obviously discussion between us would be difficult at best and we see this everywhere when the gay marriage topic comes up. It's not that those who cling to the Bible are better, because they are not and should willingly admit that...however just as the opinions and feelings of the supporters of gay marriage are valid, so are those who view marriage as something designed to be between a man and a woman as designed by God.

It's amazing how much venom is spit from both sides...you share your faith and you're attacked...well attack me then if it makes you feel better. 

I for one am all for human rights. Each man or woman should not have to worry about physical, emotional or spiritual damage or hurt being inflicted upon them by others for any reason. After all we are all in need of grace, therefore there shouldn't be any room for hate in our lives towards anyone. I simply happen to not be on the liberal or as some state "progressive" style of thinking. To me personally it isn't progress to go against what God designed marriage to be, it's actually digressing. However, I am a firm believer in allowing the people to vote and do as they vote to do...I just will never acknowledge what the law says is right, is in fact right (as is the case for other things as well).

Marriage to me is a sacred and holy thing from God. It is taking of hands of one repentant man and one repentant woman choosing to after God put the other above themselves and walk hand in hand throughout this world. Nothing anyone says will change that for me, as that is as God described it to be.

Will gay marriage be passed, yes more than likely. Will it directly affect me...no. Will it change my personal viewpoints on marriage...no. Will it sadden me...yes. We as a nation have already gotten used to recycling, ruining and abusing marriage that we now are going to open it up for even further desecration...and that in my opinion could affect me as I don't see God blessing a nation who chooses to further remove themselves from Him.

Ultimately though I will strive to always view homosexual actions for what they are; sin. I do not pass judgement upon them as to where they shall go when this world ends no more than I would do to someone struggling with the sin of pornography, adultery or masturbation. All are sexual and perverse in nature and all are sinful. I am called to never withhold love from anyone, but be honest with everyone. That is merely what I will continue to do. I will attempt to assist, support and love any brother or sister struggling with (insert any sin)...for the Lord knows I myself have, am and will continue to struggle with my own.

I'd like to end in a prayer but before I do let me first say thank you for even taking the time to read this. I have no clue if it at all made sense as this is one of those topics you have so much thought happening but at times you fail to express it in a way that seems to encompass it all.

Lord,

I come to you with so much on my mind and heart. We as a nation have pushed you aside on so many levels. We deserve to be abandoned but I pray you continue to attempt to guide us, show us our wrongs and get us back on the path you intended for us. Let us see love is the answer and can be accomplished without desecrating any and all which you intended to be perfect. Remove from my heart any callous feelings or spiteful desires for revenge towards those whom attack me for my thoughts and my opinions. Further Lord remove from me my opinion and leave in it's place just your desire, your truth, your way. Be with all in these troubling times Lord, don't give up on us now...but if now should be the end I pray you forgive me for all which I've done.

Amen.

darrellcreswell.wordpress.com

Thanks and God Bless,

Ty

Smoothie of the Day

I've decided to share what smoothie concoction I made for the day. This smoothie typically starts with about a 1/2 a cup to a cup of the remaining sweet fruit rich smoothie I make Lisa in the morning for breakfast, and then I add to that with more fruit or veggies as desired.

This morning Lisa's smoothie had 1 banana, handful of blueberries, big handful  of spinach, almond milk and some ice cubes.

So having some of that leftover, I then started adding the following:

• half a cucumber sliced/diced up for easy blending
• 3 full celery stalks (keep the tops on)
• handful of white grapes
• another banana
• just a touch of agava
• some cinnamon
• another handful of spinach
• 2 big romaine leafs
• 2 medjool dates
• more almond milk
• ice cubes

And that my friends produces a very nice high in pretty much all vitamins smoothie that tastes great too! I take a BIG mason jar full for lunch which I usually also eat some more fruit, vegetable...today I took on pear, an avacado, some figs and blood oranges to eat throughout the day when I get hungry. Tonight I'll make a big salad or veggie taco with romaine leaves and probably another smoothie/blend.

Didn't have a picture of today's smoothie/blend but pretty much looked like this:

Wait...I am doing what?!?!

Well I can officially say I've gone slightly mad. Most of you that know me know how when I get something in my head I delve as deeply into as possible with no plans to turn back. So, enter Raw. Raw isn't a fad or a diet, like becoming a vegan it's a lifestyle change and while I never fully intend to become 100% Raw (I love my steaks too much!) I do hope to someday reach about 90% raw lifestyle.

What is Raw? Raw for one has made me more energized than ever before, no longer crave coffee (although gave it up during this progressive lenten journey I'm doing), slimmed me down tremendously and gave me the ability to pretty much eat when I want, as much as I want as long as it's a fruit or vegetable (nuts occasionally).

Truly though Raw is a lifestyle where one does not cook anything over 115-ish degrees. Therefore guaranteeing you aren't destroying any good enzymes, pro-biotics or nutrients found in foods which cooking eliminates. It's a lifestyle where unless one over-indulges on seeds and nuts everyone slims down and does so quite fast...even with eating at times 30 bananas a day (yes, true story and crazy! Look it up!). The true 100%-ers don't touch eggs, meat or dairy of any kind as all those things are not "living" and all those things are proven to be harder on our digestive systems. I never intend on being a 100%-er but I'll admit I got a lot of respect for them as I still intend to eat meat but just at a TREMENDOUSLY lower rate....after all hunting is a spiritual journey for me one which should and does end with the animal nourishing myself and my family. This new lifestyle though will obviously cause me to probably give more of my venison away then before but you can guarantee it'll still be on my menu from time to time.

Here's pretty much some of the lifestyle changes I've made for my day to day eating/drinking habits:

-Smoothies/Blends have become a HUGE part of my life. It's the fastest and easiest way to get nutrients from a lot of stuff into a simple great tasting beverage! As an example one smoothie includes the following:

• 5 celery stalks
• half a cucumber
• 1 or 2 bananas
• 2 dates (pitted)
• a mango (with or without skin and pitted)
• BIG hand full of spinach
• 3-5 WHOLE kale leaves/stems
• few dandelion greens
• alfalfa sprouts
• handful of grapes
• maybe some blueberries or blackberries if on hand
• 5-8 pieces of ice

**Try eating all that without making it into a smoothie first...it'd take too long to do so! And that's just one meal's worth!

-No more dairy. In place of milk I do almond or coconut milk. Same texture and as my pallet adjusted tastes just as good if not better.

-Strive to make 100% of my daily intake be fruits and veggies on days I'm not working out. I'll be honest there have been days where my intake through shakes or salads or just eating by hand has included: 7 bananas, whole bag of baby carrots, whole bag of snap peas, a bell pepper, pound or two of leafy greens (kale, spinach, dandelion), 6 dates, 6 figs, little agava, an asian pear, a mango, some grapes, blackberries, 5 stalks of celery and a whole cucumber. Trust me, I'm eating plenty! :) 

-If hungry, I eat. Seriously, I don't worry about over eating or ruining my appetite anymore. If I am hungry I at minimum will grab a banana, whole bag of snap peas, carrots anything and everything is fair game as long as it's a veggie or a fruit.

-When I do need more protein than the normal amount found in fruit and veggies (plenty for day to day person) I use seeds and nuts or raw protein powder to get it. Pumpkin seeds are my new sensation for this!

-Tacos are no longer done with a tortilla or meat sometimes. Collard greens, kale leaves or romaine lettuce have replaced the tortilla. Which basically means I can gorge myself on more, because the average tortilla shell has over 100-200 calories depending. More food=happier Ty!

-If hungry...I EAT!

-I also at times attempt to do some mono-meals. Mono-meals are the absolute easiest thing on your digestive system. An example of a mono meal I've done is 4-6 bananas blending into a smoothie with just a little pumpkin spice or a couple dates mixed in. Extremely sweet, but entirely (almost) made up of just bananas and ice...digestive system loves me for it!

-I try to limit meat intake to once a week if possible, twice at the most and always followed by a good workout. Red meat is the last meat of choice if meat is used at all. My blood type is supposed to minimize red meat consumption anyways; combine that with the fact red meat is one of the hardest things (and time consuming) for the body to digest makes this one less of a sacrifice than I thought.

Well, that's pretty much it I think...and that's how I've continue to lose weight consistently each week, but more importantly I'm losing inches faster than even the weight lose. I've average another belt loop hole every two weeks it seems for the last 7 weeks...amazing!

While I'm not quite 100% raw, I am sure happy with striving for around 90% and seeing the results I am!!!