1 Minute, 1 Sit, Staying 1 More Hour
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
It's too early to tell...
I sat listening to the soft hum of the fan at the feet of our bed last night. All else was quiet. The cat was by my feet curled up with his nose tucked under his front paw; due to the fact the fan was pushing cool air at him. The dog was stretched out right along my left side fast asleep as well. My lovely wife was fast asleep and had been for a few hours prior to my coming into the bedroom.
I couldn't help but lay there, staring up at the ceiling of our bedroom thinking. Thinking of what our lives had in store for us in the coming years.
Is the new job venture of mine going to pan out?
How about the brand new business I helped form and am a partner of?
Will Lisa get her dream teaching job at the local school system of her choice?
How about children, is God's plan for us to have 1...2.....3 (aaaah!) little blonde haired rug rats running around?
Will my parents still be living in our part of state or down in the southern part by my brother and sister-in-law (plus their three grandkids of the present)?
Depending on the last question; will my father and I still get to share the woods in the fall hunting, or the rest of the year preparing for it?
I had all these things and many more swirling through my head. All at once I noticed my heart was picking up it's pace a touch for all the unknowns I was forcing myself to think about.
I'll admit all the unknowns can definitely cause one to worry, stress or freak out at times. However, this rush of nervousness didn't last long because as I glanced over at my sleeping wife I was reminded of a promise. A promise my parents have told me. A promise my grandparents have told me. A promise that my pastor has told me countless times.
A promise which my Savior Jesus Christ told me.
Deuteronomy 31:6, Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8, The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Joshua 1:5, No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
1Kings 8:57, May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our fathers; may he never leave us nor forsake us.
1Chronicles 28:20, David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.
Psalms 37:28, For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;
Psalms 94:14 (For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.)
Isaiah 41:17 "The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
While it may be too early to tell how all those questions I asked last night may be answered; I do know the answer to the most important question; "God will you be by my side as I proceed with my life?"
He obviously promised to never leave me.
May I never forget that, and may all of you who read this never forget the promise is for all of those who strive to live for Him.
I couldn't help but lay there, staring up at the ceiling of our bedroom thinking. Thinking of what our lives had in store for us in the coming years.
Is the new job venture of mine going to pan out?
How about the brand new business I helped form and am a partner of?
Will Lisa get her dream teaching job at the local school system of her choice?
How about children, is God's plan for us to have 1...2.....3 (aaaah!) little blonde haired rug rats running around?
Will my parents still be living in our part of state or down in the southern part by my brother and sister-in-law (plus their three grandkids of the present)?
Depending on the last question; will my father and I still get to share the woods in the fall hunting, or the rest of the year preparing for it?
I had all these things and many more swirling through my head. All at once I noticed my heart was picking up it's pace a touch for all the unknowns I was forcing myself to think about.
I'll admit all the unknowns can definitely cause one to worry, stress or freak out at times. However, this rush of nervousness didn't last long because as I glanced over at my sleeping wife I was reminded of a promise. A promise my parents have told me. A promise my grandparents have told me. A promise that my pastor has told me countless times.
A promise which my Savior Jesus Christ told me.
Deuteronomy 31:6, Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8, The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Joshua 1:5, No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
1Kings 8:57, May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our fathers; may he never leave us nor forsake us.
1Chronicles 28:20, David also said to Solomon his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.
Psalms 37:28, For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;
Psalms 94:14 (For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.)
Isaiah 41:17 "The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
While it may be too early to tell how all those questions I asked last night may be answered; I do know the answer to the most important question; "God will you be by my side as I proceed with my life?"
He obviously promised to never leave me.
May I never forget that, and may all of you who read this never forget the promise is for all of those who strive to live for Him.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
His will or "Our" will...
It has been something so entrenched in my head lately I simply had to put it down into words. It is the misuse or abuse of the term "His will be done" or "Lord willing..."
Now I understand I am treading in a territory which has potential of stepping on toes or perhaps disagreeing with some which is understandable, but for a moment allow me to explain why I feel we, as believers, misuse the idea of God's will.
First, let me begin by stating God's will is not impacted by our thoughts or our desires, otherwise it would be stated as "our" will; encompassing our human will and God's will into one collective will. That however is not how it works. God's will is just that, God's. Not yours. Not mine. Not a church's. Not a denomination's.
Yet so often we attach something of our own after requesting His will be done: "Lord willing...when we complete this project...or when the money is raised...or when everything on our list is accomplished"
Now I don't feel we do this intentionally or with the thought of basically telling God what His will-will be...I feel it's our human nature, our sinful human nature shining through. It's our inability to accept the fact sometimes God's will may not coincide with ours and quite possibly be the exact opposite of ours!
I use this next example as merely that, an example. My church just accepted the proposal to go forward with our HUGE project of building a new church. Many times throughout the years leading up to the ultimate vote I heard a lot of people say something similar to, "Well, Lord willing, when the vote passes and we proceed with the building of our future church..."
When we say such things it is as if our human "insight" already knows what God wants...something I feel is an extremely dangerous and not to mention prideful thing to flirt with. I 100% believe God's will is for our church to construct a new church...however by stating it as being God's will does not allow His will to be done freely amongst the congregation voting. Yes, I realize God is all powerful and in the end He could squelch any idea or concept humans put forth...however when people hear things presented as being God's will; how can they even consider voting against it? No amount of prayer or devotion will usurp the concept of it being God's will...if they perceive that as true.
I present that grand example because it is fresh in my mind, but we all do it in a our day to day lives. I can remember using the phrase "Lord willing a miracle will be done" as I learned how far along my aunt's cancer was. I stated it in an innocent way, and a way we all do at times of strife or the possibility of losing a loved one. However, mature Christians need to begin to realize and be honest with ourselves in that God's will isn't always the prettiest option or the one our sinful hearts desire. God's will was done in my aunt's death, which sadly did occur, no matter how hard it was to accept that at the time.
God's will was in the break up of high school sweet hearts whom got engaged their first year of college....God's will was in the loss of a brother I will never meet but has forever impacted how I live my life....God's will was in the pain I caused my wife through my addictions....God's will was in the pain and hurt my family experienced in some of our past churches....
God's will can and is in everything that happens. Because of my family's terrible experiences at past churches has led us to be where we are today, a growing church family with Christ at its center above all else.
God's will was in the painful experience of losing who I thought would become my wife one day...for I now can say I'm married to my best friend, my greatest strength outside of God and the love of my earthly life!
God's will was in the loss of my brother, who sadly lived a mere 6 hours on this earth. Through the pain of his death my parents grew closer in their marriage and they were thenblessed given another child in the future which neither planned on. (me haha!)
What I'm trying to say is we as Christians far to often assume we individually or collectively know the will of God and make statements or prayers focusing on the one outcome we see as being "his" (when it is truly ours).
That is not how it should be.
Our prayers, our pleas and our discussions with Him, should always ask for His strength, His guidance and His love no matter which way His will pours out onto us.
That's extremely hard though.
By doing so we must accept the fact things may not always be good, things may not always work out, pain will exist and hurt will be felt...but we can be assured of one thing because He promises it to us. He will be there with us. He will be there as we heal, as we grow and as we learn from our mistakes. He'll be there no matter how many times we fall. No matter how many times we try it our way. No matter how stubborn our will is.
Because if there is one thing I can claim I know about God's will, it is that His will desires us to not reject His love, His strength and His guidance. His will is to have a relationship with us...and His hand to be with ours through everything.
That is His will...that my friends is the only will that matters. So when you ask His will be done, embrace that and know that no matter which path that takes you down He will be right there...
Now I understand I am treading in a territory which has potential of stepping on toes or perhaps disagreeing with some which is understandable, but for a moment allow me to explain why I feel we, as believers, misuse the idea of God's will.
First, let me begin by stating God's will is not impacted by our thoughts or our desires, otherwise it would be stated as "our" will; encompassing our human will and God's will into one collective will. That however is not how it works. God's will is just that, God's. Not yours. Not mine. Not a church's. Not a denomination's.
Yet so often we attach something of our own after requesting His will be done: "Lord willing...when we complete this project...or when the money is raised...or when everything on our list is accomplished"
Now I don't feel we do this intentionally or with the thought of basically telling God what His will-will be...I feel it's our human nature, our sinful human nature shining through. It's our inability to accept the fact sometimes God's will may not coincide with ours and quite possibly be the exact opposite of ours!
I use this next example as merely that, an example. My church just accepted the proposal to go forward with our HUGE project of building a new church. Many times throughout the years leading up to the ultimate vote I heard a lot of people say something similar to, "Well, Lord willing, when the vote passes and we proceed with the building of our future church..."
When we say such things it is as if our human "insight" already knows what God wants...something I feel is an extremely dangerous and not to mention prideful thing to flirt with. I 100% believe God's will is for our church to construct a new church...however by stating it as being God's will does not allow His will to be done freely amongst the congregation voting. Yes, I realize God is all powerful and in the end He could squelch any idea or concept humans put forth...however when people hear things presented as being God's will; how can they even consider voting against it? No amount of prayer or devotion will usurp the concept of it being God's will...if they perceive that as true.
I present that grand example because it is fresh in my mind, but we all do it in a our day to day lives. I can remember using the phrase "Lord willing a miracle will be done" as I learned how far along my aunt's cancer was. I stated it in an innocent way, and a way we all do at times of strife or the possibility of losing a loved one. However, mature Christians need to begin to realize and be honest with ourselves in that God's will isn't always the prettiest option or the one our sinful hearts desire. God's will was done in my aunt's death, which sadly did occur, no matter how hard it was to accept that at the time.
God's will was in the break up of high school sweet hearts whom got engaged their first year of college....God's will was in the loss of a brother I will never meet but has forever impacted how I live my life....God's will was in the pain I caused my wife through my addictions....God's will was in the pain and hurt my family experienced in some of our past churches....
God's will can and is in everything that happens. Because of my family's terrible experiences at past churches has led us to be where we are today, a growing church family with Christ at its center above all else.
God's will was in the painful experience of losing who I thought would become my wife one day...for I now can say I'm married to my best friend, my greatest strength outside of God and the love of my earthly life!
God's will was in the loss of my brother, who sadly lived a mere 6 hours on this earth. Through the pain of his death my parents grew closer in their marriage and they were then
What I'm trying to say is we as Christians far to often assume we individually or collectively know the will of God and make statements or prayers focusing on the one outcome we see as being "his" (when it is truly ours).
That is not how it should be.
Our prayers, our pleas and our discussions with Him, should always ask for His strength, His guidance and His love no matter which way His will pours out onto us.
That's extremely hard though.
By doing so we must accept the fact things may not always be good, things may not always work out, pain will exist and hurt will be felt...but we can be assured of one thing because He promises it to us. He will be there with us. He will be there as we heal, as we grow and as we learn from our mistakes. He'll be there no matter how many times we fall. No matter how many times we try it our way. No matter how stubborn our will is.
Because if there is one thing I can claim I know about God's will, it is that His will desires us to not reject His love, His strength and His guidance. His will is to have a relationship with us...and His hand to be with ours through everything.
That is His will...that my friends is the only will that matters. So when you ask His will be done, embrace that and know that no matter which path that takes you down He will be right there...
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
Psalm 139: 8-10
http://www.flickr.com/photos/41158500@N08/3971995547/
Thursday, September 5, 2013
The Main Ingredient
The soybeans are beginning to change from their dark green shades to their pale yellowness. The acorns are beginning to fall to the forest floor and the velvet is shedding from the antlers of the bucks I'll be chasing come this fall.
This passion which is more commonly known as deer hunting, is something which consumes my thoughts on a daily basis. Yeah I'm that guy driving down the street and will think passing a small woodlot, "Man that would make a perfect spot for mature buck to spend his daytime hours undisturbed." Yes, I've been known to turn around to get another glimpse of a buck I saw creeping through the woods, despite the fact we're on our way to a family get together (believe it was Thanksgiving last time).
As I wait with anticipation for October 1st, opening day of deer season, I can't help but realize that amongst everything I utilize in my hunting one thing rises above the else which I have to give credit to for blessing me hopefully with a successful harvest(s).
It's not the new stands I bought. It's not the upgraded bow sights, rest and quiver. It's not the new hunting clothes which allow me to stay on stand for more all day hunts. It's not a single thing I can buy, but I would give up my life savings and then some if it meant not losing it.
This pivotal ingredient to my hunting success is, my wife.
Yeah, you read that right. My biggest weapon and ingredient to being able to harvest the deer I do each year is the wife that God has blessed me with. Honestly, behind every married man's successful hunt lies an understanding wife. A wife that doesn't discourage this passion and obsession despite the fact she'll never understand why the need to use unscented detergent is crucial. Or how for months her husband will be showering in the wee hours of the morning, in scentless shampoo/soap of course, waking her no doubt with his claimed "quiet preparations." Also how one should simply know why the frozen deer urine has to be melted slowly in warm water in the sink. Or how he can go on and on and on after every hunt about how awesome it was that he saw a squirrel, one turkey and a possum which slept for 4 hours by his stand.
I know youhate don't understand any aspect of why I love hunting like I do hun, but know that I appreciate that you love it put up with it despite that. Know that no matter how much you don't want to hear about my hunting tales you truly are the one person I want to share them with the most at the end of each hunt, and I really do appreciate the fact you at minimum act like you're listening. The blessing of your love and willingness to allow me the time to devout to this love is something I do not take lightly, and is yet another reason why I brag about you to my friends and am perfectly happy ecstatic being able to call you my wife!
Love you babe!
fyi---In one of the coming weekends we will be taking a quick weekend trip just to show you how much I love that you love me andembrace allow hunting to be a huge part of my life.
This passion which is more commonly known as deer hunting, is something which consumes my thoughts on a daily basis. Yeah I'm that guy driving down the street and will think passing a small woodlot, "Man that would make a perfect spot for mature buck to spend his daytime hours undisturbed." Yes, I've been known to turn around to get another glimpse of a buck I saw creeping through the woods, despite the fact we're on our way to a family get together (believe it was Thanksgiving last time).
As I wait with anticipation for October 1st, opening day of deer season, I can't help but realize that amongst everything I utilize in my hunting one thing rises above the else which I have to give credit to for blessing me hopefully with a successful harvest(s).
It's not the new stands I bought. It's not the upgraded bow sights, rest and quiver. It's not the new hunting clothes which allow me to stay on stand for more all day hunts. It's not a single thing I can buy, but I would give up my life savings and then some if it meant not losing it.
This pivotal ingredient to my hunting success is, my wife.
Yeah, you read that right. My biggest weapon and ingredient to being able to harvest the deer I do each year is the wife that God has blessed me with. Honestly, behind every married man's successful hunt lies an understanding wife. A wife that doesn't discourage this passion and obsession despite the fact she'll never understand why the need to use unscented detergent is crucial. Or how for months her husband will be showering in the wee hours of the morning, in scentless shampoo/soap of course, waking her no doubt with his claimed "quiet preparations." Also how one should simply know why the frozen deer urine has to be melted slowly in warm water in the sink. Or how he can go on and on and on after every hunt about how awesome it was that he saw a squirrel, one turkey and a possum which slept for 4 hours by his stand.
I know you
Love you babe!
fyi---In one of the coming weekends we will be taking a quick weekend trip just to show you how much I love that you love me and
Thursday, August 29, 2013
I've been there....I promise I have.
As I sit here in my mancave at my "new"ly set up desk area, fresh off of cleaning up the whole downstairs and the upstairs due to guests coming over I found my thoughts floating to a place they often go.
Now I understand all of us at times wonder why? Why did life fall to us the way it did? Why am I the one that had that happen to me in high school and just the other day was affected by a new medical diagnosis? I understand that these and ones like them are questions we all ask, and I myself find myself asking at times. I've had many of these occasions in my life...and will sadly probably have more.
Like the time I sat in my car outside of church one morning holding an engagement ring which minutes prior had rested on the hand of the girl I'd asked to marry me and spend our lives together. (Love now that this never did occur!)
I can remember the night I debated if it was all worth it...and seriously entertained the idea that it wasn't.
Or the time I heard my grandpa had passed away in his sleep.
Then there was that time in high school when I realized I couldn't go on in a sport God blessed me with ability in. I just couldn't enjoy it anymore given circumstances out of my control...giving up D-I scholarship offers, which I never could find the courage to tell my parents about till years later due to all the time and money they'd invested in baseball over the years.
I also remember the minute...no the second that my aunt and mother of two very young children had lost her battle with cancer.
Or the time in our young marriage that I felt I'd all but thrown it away and ruined it. Lisa had every right to be upset and I had no one to blame but myself. An addiction had grew to the point it was on the verge of taking the very thing I loved the most, my newlywed wife Lisa.
I share all that to let you know I've been there. I've been to the bottom of the "barrel" as the expression states. Yes each of us have in our own ways. We wanna scream and shout "Why?!"
We are so hurt or distraught that we don't even realize the beauty and blessing which only those times can provide: peace.
Now I'm not talking a peace like put your guns away and say no to bullying type of peace. Nope. I'm talking about a peace which I will attempt to but in my opinion words cannot fully explain. I will merely state it is beyond compare. It is a peace which isn't felt, but at the same time you feel it. A peace which you can't experience, however once felt you want to share with others the experience you had. A peace which a quiet joy which at the same time is the loudest joy and happiness one can ever feel.
You see the one thing which all those occasions have in common is that the only thing that got me through is realizing I couldn't get through them. Nothing I did could. In one case it was the inability to see past the hurt someone had released on me, another was the pain of losing a family member I felt was unjustified and another yet was the despair I felt which had swallowed me whole.
But, it was at the moments of my deepest depths of despair and the acknowledgement of the fact I COULD DO NOTHING TO CHANGE...that was when He was. I can't say that this was when He stepped in, because to be honest I know He was always right there...I just refused to see it, or couldn't due to the reasons excuses stated before. He was always there, ready and willing to take my hand...however it wasn't till I 100% realized I couldn't do anything that I saw Him ready to be there...He was merely waiting on me to stop refusing Him.
That is why I strive daily to realize I'm nothing special. I'm someone who deserves nothing, accomplishes nothing...if it isn't done with His hand in mine...for in the end I grew to know I, Tylan Miller am incapable of anything unless That hand is in mine.
Now I understand all of us at times wonder why? Why did life fall to us the way it did? Why am I the one that had that happen to me in high school and just the other day was affected by a new medical diagnosis? I understand that these and ones like them are questions we all ask, and I myself find myself asking at times. I've had many of these occasions in my life...and will sadly probably have more.
Like the time I sat in my car outside of church one morning holding an engagement ring which minutes prior had rested on the hand of the girl I'd asked to marry me and spend our lives together. (Love now that this never did occur!)
I can remember the night I debated if it was all worth it...and seriously entertained the idea that it wasn't.
Or the time I heard my grandpa had passed away in his sleep.
Then there was that time in high school when I realized I couldn't go on in a sport God blessed me with ability in. I just couldn't enjoy it anymore given circumstances out of my control...giving up D-I scholarship offers, which I never could find the courage to tell my parents about till years later due to all the time and money they'd invested in baseball over the years.
I also remember the minute...no the second that my aunt and mother of two very young children had lost her battle with cancer.
Or the time in our young marriage that I felt I'd all but thrown it away and ruined it. Lisa had every right to be upset and I had no one to blame but myself. An addiction had grew to the point it was on the verge of taking the very thing I loved the most, my newlywed wife Lisa.
I share all that to let you know I've been there. I've been to the bottom of the "barrel" as the expression states. Yes each of us have in our own ways. We wanna scream and shout "Why?!"
We are so hurt or distraught that we don't even realize the beauty and blessing which only those times can provide: peace.
Now I'm not talking a peace like put your guns away and say no to bullying type of peace. Nope. I'm talking about a peace which I will attempt to but in my opinion words cannot fully explain. I will merely state it is beyond compare. It is a peace which isn't felt, but at the same time you feel it. A peace which you can't experience, however once felt you want to share with others the experience you had. A peace which a quiet joy which at the same time is the loudest joy and happiness one can ever feel.
You see the one thing which all those occasions have in common is that the only thing that got me through is realizing I couldn't get through them. Nothing I did could. In one case it was the inability to see past the hurt someone had released on me, another was the pain of losing a family member I felt was unjustified and another yet was the despair I felt which had swallowed me whole.
But, it was at the moments of my deepest depths of despair and the acknowledgement of the fact I COULD DO NOTHING TO CHANGE...that was when He was. I can't say that this was when He stepped in, because to be honest I know He was always right there...I just refused to see it, or couldn't due to the
That is why I strive daily to realize I'm nothing special. I'm someone who deserves nothing, accomplishes nothing...if it isn't done with His hand in mine...for in the end I grew to know I, Tylan Miller am incapable of anything unless That hand is in mine.
Psalm 139: 8-10 If I go to the heavens, You are there: if I make my bed
in the depths, you are there. If I rise on wings of the dawn, you are there. If
I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your
right hand will hold me fast.
This is why I strive to be the man He can be proud of at the end of each day. I have yet to accomplish that perfect day but I'm never going to stop trying, for He deserves that and so much more. He deserves to have my life be all the proof people need of His love. I don't have to be great at quoting scripture or sharing the Gospel with words...I simply need to let my life be the proof. The proof that I've been there, I promise I have...and have come out the other side by nothing I did.
Lord let Your grace rain down on all who read this...for they are your beloved.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
I want to introduce you to someone very special...
There haven't been many times in my life where I've been as excited to key in words than for this write up right here, right now. With this post I get to express gratitude, admiration and respect for quite possibly my greatest friend God has blessed me with on this Earth outside of my wife.
Let me start from the beginning. The place was Middlebury, IN...the public library to be exact and it would have been sometime in the summer of 1991 or 1992 as I can't remember the exact age I was. We would meet in a summer workshop type thing where all I can remember is getting snacks and being read to by a sweet lady from the library. He and I hit it off quickly from what my mom tells me and instantly became good friends.
I guess in the coming years we would be bookends to each other and truly were together as much as we possibly could be. He shared the little league fields with me, summer swimming lessons and many an imaginary "battles" out in our yards during our elementary days.
As we progressed through our grade levels our friendship continued to grow to what some would consider brotherhood not just friendship. I knew he had my back and he knew I had his above all else. If it wasn't for him I probably would never had made it through the heartaches of dating, engagement breaking up and the dilemmas I faced in high school and college which at the time I felt were insurmountable.
He was there a few years back when I said "I do" to my lovely Lisa and is someone I go to when I feel I'm failing at being the man and husband God has called me to be. He never understands why I go to him, but if you knew him you'd understand. He's the type of guy you can't help but admire for his amazing relationship with God and how everything surrounds that. An example would be what he told me when he met his now wife April and how he knew that she was the one, "She loves God more than me Ty." That was always what he stated he was looking for in a future spouse to share this life with.
This man has since been blessed with two gorgeous daughters, and I'd be understating it if I said he is an amazing dad. He's the kind of dad which movies are made about. I can only pray that someday I am able to be the father he is to my future children.
That shouldn't be too hard though and actually I know I will be better...because you see my friend really isn't a father. As a matter of fact he's not even married. While we're at it I guess I should share that he was not able to make it to my wedding, and to be honest he didn't even send a card. He never was there for me in high school...and I have no idea if he even grew up in Middlebury.
Actually I do know he didn't, because the man I've shared about was actually ABORTED. He sadly never got a chance to meet me, be there for me. He never grew to be a brother to me, a father to his daughters and a loving husband to his wife. He never got a chance...and the sad truth is he never will. I don't know the circumstances of his abortion, but how I wish his mother would have considered giving him a chance.
So I apologize for wasting your time, sometimes I forget my friend actually doesn't exist. I'll be honest though, despite his non-existence he has taught me the importance of life and how it should be protected.
I pray I never forget the friend I didn't have.
Let me start from the beginning. The place was Middlebury, IN...the public library to be exact and it would have been sometime in the summer of 1991 or 1992 as I can't remember the exact age I was. We would meet in a summer workshop type thing where all I can remember is getting snacks and being read to by a sweet lady from the library. He and I hit it off quickly from what my mom tells me and instantly became good friends.
I guess in the coming years we would be bookends to each other and truly were together as much as we possibly could be. He shared the little league fields with me, summer swimming lessons and many an imaginary "battles" out in our yards during our elementary days.
As we progressed through our grade levels our friendship continued to grow to what some would consider brotherhood not just friendship. I knew he had my back and he knew I had his above all else. If it wasn't for him I probably would never had made it through the heartaches of dating, engagement breaking up and the dilemmas I faced in high school and college which at the time I felt were insurmountable.
He was there a few years back when I said "I do" to my lovely Lisa and is someone I go to when I feel I'm failing at being the man and husband God has called me to be. He never understands why I go to him, but if you knew him you'd understand. He's the type of guy you can't help but admire for his amazing relationship with God and how everything surrounds that. An example would be what he told me when he met his now wife April and how he knew that she was the one, "She loves God more than me Ty." That was always what he stated he was looking for in a future spouse to share this life with.
This man has since been blessed with two gorgeous daughters, and I'd be understating it if I said he is an amazing dad. He's the kind of dad which movies are made about. I can only pray that someday I am able to be the father he is to my future children.
That shouldn't be too hard though and actually I know I will be better...because you see my friend really isn't a father. As a matter of fact he's not even married. While we're at it I guess I should share that he was not able to make it to my wedding, and to be honest he didn't even send a card. He never was there for me in high school...and I have no idea if he even grew up in Middlebury.
Actually I do know he didn't, because the man I've shared about was actually ABORTED. He sadly never got a chance to meet me, be there for me. He never grew to be a brother to me, a father to his daughters and a loving husband to his wife. He never got a chance...and the sad truth is he never will. I don't know the circumstances of his abortion, but how I wish his mother would have considered giving him a chance.
So I apologize for wasting your time, sometimes I forget my friend actually doesn't exist. I'll be honest though, despite his non-existence he has taught me the importance of life and how it should be protected.
I pray I never forget the friend I didn't have.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Sad Feelings on the 4th of July...
 |
| http://www.catsprn.com/cross_flag.htm |
Allow me to first disclose a few things:
I am so happy that I still live in a country which claims to allow freedom of speech, freedom to bear arms, freedom of religion and the pursuit of happiness. I cannot express to you the sense of pride when I think of all the women and men that fought to give me those rights, especially those who found themselves involved in true defense of the safety of the US (Revolutionary War, Civil War, WWI, WWII and to an extent the Afghanistan war on terror). These men and women deserve much more respect and honor than shall ever be given to them.
I am also happy that every Sunday morning I can get up and drive to my church which doesn't have to hide in a basement or sewer like some churches do across the world. I feel blessed to know that if God blesses me with children they too will experience this freedom. God and my relationship with Him is the #1 thing in my life above my wife, my family and myself; which is why I cannot express the value of this ability to freely follow and worship my Lord in my country.
I am also proud of the fact that although it seemingly is getting harder one can still pursue the idea of hard work will provide a better life. As I start a new job in the private sector with a partner I cannot help but feel excited at the possibility to build something amazingly successful if God would so choose to bless it...in some countries this dream wouldn't even be possible or even illegal to attempt.
I could go on and on about what makes me proud to live here in America, the United States, One Nation Under God...or is it? Perhaps the biggest sadness sweeping through to my core is the lack of God and family in America.
Galatians 6:7 describes how I feel when I think of the state of America:
"7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap."
What are we as a nation sowing?
This nation was founded for many reasons, but it was a point by our founding fathers to make it very clear this would be One Nation Under God and that "In God We Trust" to be our way of life. Sadly though as we "progress" towards as some describe "modern" thinking we are leaving all which is of God and seeking to be that of which man is.
The odd thing though is that over the history of this Earth man has proven just one mere thing 100% consistently: WE ARE GOOD AT FAILING. Look over history when you get a chance, some of the greatest highs of mankind were always followed by extreme lows and wickedness. Even in thriving "fiscal" cities we had slavery, debauchery and adultery rampant in both temples and courts. We have proven we fail friendships, relationships and where there are commitments and vows we find loopholes and annulments. Even our own American history is riddled with failure; slavery, civil war and corruption.
However, for many years God was always on the American mind, money and way of life. He dictated to some extent how this country operated...but slowly God became less of a cornerstone and more of a gorgeous stain glass window in our lives. Something which was to be viewed for it's beauty and to reflect upon something which WAS gorgeous and HAD it's place at one time.
We are now choosing to attempt to put a human definition on marriage which just cannot be done. Marriage isn't a man given thing, God provided it and defined it. If marriage was a gift or idea granted by man, let man define it...however if we as a nation still claim any allegiance to God how can we let man define which He created?
Perhaps though that's the real issue, it's that God is falling faster out of America than husbands and wives are falling out of marriage (which is ridiculously fast!) here in America. Is it sheer coincidence that the unraveling of God in America and the idea of what a family and marriage is coincides with some of the darkest things we find here? Have you seen the statistics for murderers and especially mass murderers that come from broken homes that have been split by divorce...the idea of marriage even beyond redefining as man and woman is also being shredded from it's intended purpose.
Marriage isn't suppose to be two people positioning themselves better socially, fiscally or emotionally. It isn't designed to show our status through the beauty of the other. It also isn't to be something we fall into because we have an "oops baby".
Marriage was designed for us to have on Earth what we have in heaven. A relationship of love and support which should be the best example we humans can produce of how God's love is for us. It's not about two people trying to make it through this life, IT'S ABOUT TWO PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE IT TO ETERNAL LIFE.
Maybe that is all we need here in America. Maybe instead of focusing on whether I can carry a 9mm on my hip or share my thoughts freely or even be able to afford health insurance....maybe we should focus on simply bringing God back into the forefront. Maybe we should lift Him up and out of that stained glass window, put there for our viewing and re-establish Him as a cornerstone in our Nation...one which without would surely crumble.
That's what I desire more than anything. Not for me, not for my family, not for my community but for my United States of America which I pray will turn back to being One Nation Under God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)